The Secrets of Thankfulness

Posted on November 26, 2012 by richrockwood

Lessons I Have Learned:  A number of years ago, I either heard or came upon this thought that I could expand giving thanks beyond one Thursday a year to all year long.   This idea led me to the idea that the secret to living (and not just talking about) a Christian life was found in thankfulness.  When I was thankful I was able to look for, recognize and acknowledge my blessings before the One who gives them.  This switched my focus and energy from wanting more to contentment with what I already had.

A program in which I participate has a challenge for each person to see if they can identify one hundred things for which they are thankful.    It fosters what they call “an attitude of gratitude.”  It is an interesting challenge which anyone can try.  The end result always seems to be a deeper awareness of the abundant blessings which encompass every one.  From this it seemed that thankfulness need not be confined to the arena of religion.

There was a popular song many years ago that had these lyrics:  “When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings.”  I wonder how many others have discovered the power of thankfulness in their lives.

My experience so far has taught me that thankfulness gets me out of the rat race of competition with others.  It gives me the opportunity to take inventory of where I am and what I already have so I can feel good about myself and what I have accomplished.  Beyond that it makes me see in tangible ways how my life is being watched over by a power greater than myself.   This insight shapes and grows the unselfish virtue of thankfulness in my soul.

With such great rewards, why would anyone want to keep thankfulness confined to just one Thursday a year?   Let’s all begin to explore all year long the many secret advantages of a thankful attitude.

Posted in Accomplishment, Contentment, Enjoyment, Feelings, Focus, Happiness, Life, Perspective, Pleasure, Priorities, Quiet Time, relationships, Thankfulness, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pension Payoff

Posted on November 23, 2012 by richrockwood

Experience as a Flashlight:   When I finally finished my education and settled into earning a living, I was confronted with some big decisions about retirement.  Did I want my employer to withhold Social Security and did I want to set up a retirement account?  I also was pursued by insurance agents who wanted me to start contributing into an insurance annuity.  All those decisions seemed irrelevant to my life that moment.

It’s not that I didn’t think I would ever reach retirement.  It’s just that I was getting settled down into the long haul that would be my job career.  I had lots of bills to pay, a wife and a house to take care of.  There were so many things more immediate for me to concentrate on.

After my divorce I was on my own for awhile, and then after many years married again.  This was a happy marriage and together my wife and I worked towards having a comfortable retirement.  I saw her retire and enjoy herself commenting once “It’s so amazing.  I don’t do any work and at the beginning of the month, an amount of money shows up in my bank account.”  Unfortunately, she passed away before we could spend our retirement as planned.

By then I was beginning to anticipate retirement and eventually switched my investment portfolio from growth to just income.  I wanted to protect my pension as much as possible from risk.

As retirement came within sight, the pension came to the top of my priorities list.  And now, of course, I carefully watch my pension statements each quarter to see how much money is left.  And I take notice when the politicians talk about doing something to Social Security.

What seemed so far off moved too quickly into my present reality.  What I put away all those many years is now coming back to me providing for my material needs while I remain out of the workplace.  It’s a blessing from this vintage point to see how the sacrifices of those early years have paid off in my later years.  For any young person my story illustrates that the future eventually arrives and planning a pension is not just a wise decision, some day it pays off.

Posted in Accomplishment, Aging, Contentment, Enjoyment, Fear, Focus, Happiness, Life, Money, Orderliness, Perseverance, Perspective, Priorities, Retirement, Wisdom, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Posted on November 21, 2012 by richrockwood

Living in the Past:  The shooting of JFK was another of those incidents so life stopping that people remember what they were doing at the time.

I was a college freshman in the Autumn of 1963.  I was part of the Pioneer Class at Michigan’s newest state college: Grand Valley.  It was incorporated in 1960 and we were in the first class that September.   All of us had been invited out to see the new campus that summer.  Everything seemed fresh and new…and small.  Parking lots weren’t paved.  There were only a few buildings completed.  The staff and all us students were just getting used to each other.  September had passed and then October.  Then two thirds of the way through November, it happened.

It was Friday, November 22, 1963.  I remember being in the lunch room talking with some of my new friends.  All of a sudden we were distracted by lively conversations going on nearby.  The word traveled through the cafeteria like wildfire.  “The President’s been shot.”

Something like a cloud of gloom fell on the room as I looked from face to face to see what could be done.  It felt like someone had popped our bubble.  He was so young and seemed to embody a new kind of thinking in our country.  He had asked us not to think of what we could get from our country, but how we could serve it.  He had ignited our hearts.  Why would someone want to kill him?

I finally left the lunch room because of a test many of us were scheduled to take.  So, trying as best we could, we launched into the exam.  Shortly after we started we heard a commotion coming down the hall.  Finally, our teacher announced “you’re going to hear it sooner or later.  President Kennedy has died.”

It felt like something wet and sharp had gone through my heart.  A vacant sadness which I would later understand as grief surrounded me.   There was no break from the test which we had to continue.  After the test, there was a discussion scheduled so we sat in a circle and struggled to consider the political consequences of Kennedy’s assassination.  I couldn’t

Tomorrow is the 49th anniversary of a dreadful experience which sobered my youthful enthusiasm into realizing that evil does exist and evil men can still be at times victorious.

Posted in Country, Evil, Famous People, Fear, Feelings, Grief, Happiness, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Life, Memory, Morals, Patriotism, Perspective, Politics, Suffering, Worry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Take a Walk

Posted on November 19, 2012 by richrockwood

 

Lessons from Life:  When I was in the Army, it seemed an easy way out of my problems.  Whenever things piled up and I began to think I couldn’t handle life, I always took a walk.  There was something that happened to my mind while I walked.

It felt like I exited my life for awhile while partaking in an activity that fascinated me.  Even when I was little I was intrigued with the idea that my legs could carry me places.  My legs were the transports for my torso.  I thought how they coordinated my movement without me consciously thinking of every moving part was amazing.  I hoped I could always have my legs in working order so that I would be able to enjoy this wondrous movement.  Walking still is my second favorite exercise after bicycling.

I noticed back then I was able to take in the sights of activity and nature all around me.  It gave my brain new things to contemplate.  I could become an observer of life for a time instead of a participant.  I noticed things I would never have seen had I been driving a car.

Then I observed how in this refreshed state that new ideas, even solutions would pop into my head.  Now I wonder if walking has a way of emptying our mind of thoughts and preoccupations so that any problems which may be bothering us can become the focus of all the mental energy we have at our disposal.  It could be.

I still enjoy walking for its exercise value and while listening to my iPod still find myself just watching life for awhile instead of participating in it.

Has it been awhile since you’ve enjoyed the benefits of a good walk.  If you can, why not take a walk today and see how it makes you feel.

Posted in Animals, Contentment, Creation, Creativity, Enjoyment, Exercise, Feelings, Focus, Fun, Guidance, Happiness, Health, Life, Military, Nature, Peace, Perspective, Quiet Time, Stress | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On Alert After Martin Luther King Jr.’s Assassination

Posted on November 16, 2012 by richrockwood

Living in the Past:  The reader needs to know that I am not a violent man.  I have had only one fight in my life.  I avoid physical confrontations because of some difficulties I have with my anger.  In the fight I did have, I was surprised how well I did and concerned at how much anger I felt at the time.   This bent towards non-violence became problematic when I joined the Army.  I joined, not out of choice but because I was about to be drafted and wanted some say as to where I ended up.

So, there I was in the late 1960’s taking basic training at Fort Knox where we had bayonet training.  This consisted in mounting a knife on the end of an M-14 rifle and thrusting it through a tire mounted on a post.  The idea was for us to get familiar with the feeling of killing an enemy soldier.  The only feeling I had was revulsion.  I was still stationed at Fort Knox the day Civil Rights Leader Martin Luther King Jr. was killed.  The word came down we were to be ready to move out on a moment’s notice.  We were told we probably would be heading to Chicago to restore peace there.

As I often did at that time in my life, I went for a walk and tried to sort out my feelings.  The thought of killing someone or even standing there with a rifle pointed menacingly was not a pleasant thought.  I don’t guess it is for anyone. I couldn’t understand all the racial hatred.  And the violent reaction to King’s death came on top of the violent anti-war protests.  It seemed like the extremists on both side of the debates were putting us soldiers in the middle.  And we soldiers had taken an oath not to be political but just to follow orders.   We were not even allowed to place political bumper stickers on our cars.  It was the closest I ever came to experiencing a kind of civil war:  American versus American with American soldiers in the middle.

Fortunately, the orders never came down.  We never left Fort Knox and I was spared having to stand up for my principles in the face of military and civilian pressure.

This was only an isolated decision by one soldier during a time of loud debate and violent protests fueled by angry rhetoric.  Rhetoric can create heart-wrenching confusion in the hearts of those tasked with either keeping the peace or going to war.  And those superiors are only following the dictates of the political leaders be they from the left or the right.   Having been in the place of soldier, I just pray that all those making decisions affecting our military take the time to count the human cost beyond equipment, troop strength and casualty numbers.

Posted in Country, Courage, Eternity, Faith, Fear, Feelings, Legal, Life, Memory, mercy, Military, Morals, Patriotism, Peace, Perseverance, Perspective, Politics, Principles, Priorities, Service, Soldier, Trust, War, Wisdom, Youth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Waiting for Weight Loss

Posted on November 14, 2012 by richrockwood

Experience as a Flashlight: For the last few decades I have had trouble getting down to my “goal weight.”  I was a regular at Weight Watchers Meetings for a few years but I found there were always more calories going in by the end of the day than points written down.  And at the end of each year, my doctor reminded me in quite graphic ways my weight was inching up.  That topic somehow got his attention every time I saw him.

Finally I found a program which does not emphasize the weight.  In fact, this program suggests the fascination and even obsession over the number on the scale can contribute to overeating.  I am not promoting a program on weight loss.  What I am sharing is the notion that sometimes we focus so much on an issue in life, we miss the bigger picture.    Sometimes we get our priorities mixed.

When I was young, I thought it was important to enjoy life.  I worked hard for enough money to take interesting vacations, have nice things, and feel secure.   Now that I am older, I see that relationships are more important than material possessions, good memories more important than fleeting flashes of pleasure.  With age, I am thankfully seeing more and more of the bigger picture.

In this program I learned that accepting life as it comes is important.  I learned that broken relationships can be repaired.  I can see my mistakes as part of who I am and live contentedly in this present moment.   I don’t have to try and change people, but I can change myself.   I don’t need excess food to soothe me.  I can write about feelings and get healing from hurts without taking in a single calorie.   I can enjoy eating healthy foods and skip the unnecessary snacks.   I only weigh myself once a month.  God is a big part of this program too.

In my last physical, the doctor noted a “healthy” drop in my weight.

For everyone headed for old age my experience suggests you do NOT have to wear that inner tube around your middle or your hips.  By continuing to focus on life as it is meant to lived, dealing with issues head on, keeping food in perspective as just fuel and not an emotional outlet a proper weight can be reached and maintained.

Posted in Accomplishment, Adaptability, Aging, Bondage, Contentment, diet, Enjoyment, Feelings, Focus, Food, Happiness, Health, Life, Medical, Old Age, Perfectionism, Perseverance, Perspective, Physical Exams, Priorities, relationships, Religion, Stress, weight loss, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slow Down This Big Time Machine: Break Your Routine

Posted on November 12, 2012 by richrockwood

Lessons from Life:  One thing I’ve heard comments about for almost as long as I can remember is the speed at which time passes.  From an early age I remember hearing that life is short and we must make the best of the time we’re given.    I agree now with this assessment and advice, but I did not always do so.

When I was young it seemed as though time crept like a turtle.  I can still remember thinking that I would never be able to say my age had two digits.  I was nine I wanted life to move faster.   I wanted to be able to say proudly “I’m 10.”   At that age it seemed like I was always in a hurry to get somewhere and experience something new.  Adults had control of things and I wanted that control too.  So, I waited impatiently for the years and thrills to come my way.  I had no money so I could only hunger for things, I couldn’t buy them…at least not yet.

Somewhere between age nine and my forties or fifties life started speeding up.  I had a job, a career, bills, and a weekly routine.  I established a schedule of what I would do each day of the week, so I made sure I finished everything on time.  It worked.

However, I believe that routine forced all the activities of my week into little slots which began rapidly chewing up my weeks.  I found I was doing my Monday things every other day.  And weekends whizzed by like a fastball.

I think I learned something after a few encounters with broken routines.  I discovered that I lost track of what day of the week it was and time actually began to slow down.  This  happened when I was on vacation where every day can be different.  Since each day had no familiar task linked to it, I lost track of my days.  And the weeks stretched out for me.  Time slowed down.

This led me to believe that the culprit for time-speedup is routine.  If we change our routines, we many not get things done on time, but it may actually feel like we have more time available each week.

I invite the reader to try it.  Try breaking your routine.  Change the way you go through your weeks.  If you always do a certain report on Monday to get it out of the way, try doing it on Thursday.  If you always have a date with your spouse on Friday, change it to a week night.  If you always exercise on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, change it every other week to Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.   See if you notice a difference in the pace of your life.  I think you will.  When we break our routine, we open ourselves up to life’s challenges…and opportunities.  Slow your life down.  Take a break from your routine.  Life can be an adventure!

Posted in Adaptability, Bondage, Contentment, Courage, Creation, Creativity, Enjoyment, Focus, Fun, Happiness, Laughter, Life, Orderliness, Perfectionism, Perspective, Priorities, Sense of Humor, Stress, Tasks, Work | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Embarassing Physical Exams

Posted on November 9, 2012 by richrockwood

Experience As a Flashlight:   I didn’t mind my office job except for one event that happened each year that terrified me.  Each year I had to undergo a physical exam.  During the exam, the doctor had to check certain parts (which embarrassed me).  I had had my first experience with that when I was inducted into the Army, but that was only a one time thing.  I didn’t have to keep getting those personal exams.  In the office, all the guys made jokes about it, but to me it was personal and quite uncomfortable.

One of my worst experiences was with something called a flexible sigmoidoscopy with no sedation.  This was back in the day when they used that procedure instead of the colonoscopy where sedation is given.  Back then, I felt every painful turn and retraction.

Over the years there have been other types of exams from body scans for signs of cancer, open mouthed surgeries, raised arms after ingesting nuclear materials and many others.  As a claustrophobic, I have learned how to stay calm while going into a tube for an M.R.I.

What started as subjects too embarrassing to mention are now routinely discussed with my family doctor or a specialist.  I am able to disassociate myself from the subject matter and talk as though it were happening to someone else.  I have learned that once we get past certain thresholds  things seem easier to deal with.

While I thought ignorance was bliss back then, I have learned it is better to know what I am up against and get busy dealing with it.  We human beings are able to cross many thresholds.  Knowledge is power.

Posted in Aging, Claustrophobia, Fear, Health, Medical, Memory, Old Age, Perspective, Physical Exams, Retirement, Stress, Suffering, Worry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

JFK’s in Town

Posted on November 7, 2012 by richrockwood

Living in the Past:  I remember the day John Fitzgerald Kennedy came to town.  I was in the crush of people waiting to see the man I most admired at the time coming into our town.  To me it was the joining of someone I idolized with my everyday life.

Of course I had seen pictures of the man, even colored ones.  At that time colored photos were a special treat.  Most photos then were in black and white.

And suddenly there he was in his open convertible sitting and waving at people.  He was a real person after all.  He moved and gestured.  His suit looked fabulous.  And it was only a suit, but it somehow seemed grander than anything I had ever seen.  It was a dream merging into reality.

At our local museum I recently saw pictures of his historic visit to our town.  Here was a man affirming the dreams of young people, telling us they were good, challenging us to ask what we could do for our country.  His message came at the right time.

I have seen other famous people in person.  I saw Elvis in concert on his last New Year’s Eve.  He was a tiny figure on stage, until I saw a security breach and made my way down to where I could see him regular sized.  He was quite overweight, but that sequined clothing and his hair made him more glamorous than life.  He was really there in my sights.

In the end, these interactions with historic, famous figures will not mean much.  But for a few moments, it was exciting to have my world touched by fame.

Posted in Art, Elvis, Enjoyment, Famous People, Feelings, Happiness, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Life, Memory, Perspective, Politics, Youth | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

How To Get Started

Posted on November 5, 2012 by richrockwood

Lessons From Life:  When I was working in an office, I learned an important lesson about motivation from a man I would see from time to time on the bus.  He used to say if you have a lot of tasks to do, always begin with the easiest one.  It does not require a lot of effort and can be done comparatively quickly.  This came to me shortly after my discharge from the Army when it seemed difficult to give full attention to the tasks at hand.  Getting to know this man also showed me the value of friends.  They share what they have learned and we do the same with them.

This led me to the idea of making a list of things to do and prioritize it.  Setting priorities was a great way to keep from feeling overwhelmed.  Before I learned that, my mind would just stack each project in my brain where they swirled around .   From what this man said, I learned that certain tasks have different time and energy requirements.  If I sat down and addressed the largest task, I froze.  If, on the other hand, I made a list, I could see there was a limit to what I had to do and if I ranked them in order of importance, I could do some quickly and feel I was getting things done.

An interesting thought came to me as I was doing a task.  It was my idea and so I had no objection to it.  If, however, someone had told me I had to do it, I would be resenting it.  This seemed rather queer to me.  Why would I be ok with it on the one hand and resent it on the other.  So it came to me that the lack of motivation sometimes came from my attitude and not the task.

The final step in my maturing about tasks was to realize that I could actually enjoy doing them.  Taking a cue again from the James Taylor lyric “the secret to life is enjoying the passage of time,” I began looking for some enjoyment in the task at hand.  This idea reached its zenith in washing dishes.  In my senior years my hands get cold.  When I wash dishes, I get to immerse my cold hands into water that sends a lovely warmth through every cell.  It actually creates a feeling of pleasure.

To get momentum, do the easy tasks first.  Realize the difference between wanting to do a task and being told is in one’s attitude.  Look for the enjoyment that comes while doing the task even if it’s just knowing you will be able to check it off your to-do list.

Posted in Accomplishment, Adaptability, Aging, Contentment, Enjoyment, Feelings, Focus, Friends, Happiness, Life, Orderliness, Organization, Peace, Perseverance, Perspective, Priorities, Service, Stress, Tasks, Wisdom, Work, Worry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment