Experience as a Flashlight: “Am I enough?” I wondered as I wandered through my teens and early twenties. “Do I have enough looks and wittiness to attract a woman to my side?” “Will I spend all my life alone?” These thoughts rolled around in my mind and peppered my heart during those early years.
My first marriage ended in DIVORCE. I had always said if my marriage failed it would be my fault. I didn’t realize I would be trying to stand tall in a typhoon of trouble. We were from opposite backgrounds and cultures. Her looks turned me on and to her I was a path to a better life. We argued and fought like Siamese Beta Fighters. In between rounds, she went silent and refused to participate in life.
My second marriage was better, but she died suddenly and once again those same thoughts exploded like mines as time dragged on. I tried Christian computer dating but gave up because it always led to wasted time and money.
One day I visited my old church and a door opened to an old friendship that became a relationship. We each had suffered loss. We each thought we were ready to TRY once more to let someone in. Seven months later we vowed commitments to each other in the presence of friends and family.
Questions of doubt are more widespread in the population than I imagined as a teenager. Sometimes life has pleasant surprises waiting if we have the patience to wait.