I have been asking myself this question lately, because my home feels comfortably set up.  Next month I will be married three years to Cindy.  Let me see if I can recall the steps involved in our setting up this household we now have.

I remember packing up all my things in my apartment and then moving everything over here in one day.  Unpacking took a bit longer.  I remember Cindy moving things in gradually before and then after we were married.  Her move-in took a lot longer than mine, but she was able to do it at her pace.

Then there was the process of putting things in places  in some sort of logical order.  This was supplemented by purchases as we discovered things we needed which neither one  of us had brought to the house.

As projects came up that needed attention, we were able to work on them together and get this house more in line with the way we wanted it.  A big project, which required a contractor, was getting a deck on the back of the house.  We wished we had realized at the start how much trouble it was going to be getting a permit from the city.  We would have started there first, ordering the materials by comparison was a snap.

All of these things were tangible items being moved and placed in our new house.  There was another process which also took some work…learning to live with another person on a permanent basis.  Sometimes there was disagreement and a bit of tension, but mostly we were able to compromise and adapt, because having someone in your life you esteem so highly makes the sacrifices bearable and interesting.

We both recognized the importance of having a spiritual connection to each other.  Our common faith in Christ has laid a strong foundation for our marriage.  We recognized early on that we were not perfect, did not have a perfect relationship, needed Christ’s help every day.  Having regular times of prayer and Bible reading, at breakfast and in bed before going to sleep, have been good tools for keeping that spiritual connection intact.

Having this spiritual connection has helped love flow between us from little acts of kindness to big affectionate hugs.  Love has helped tie a lot of loose ends together.

Back in 2006, the household I was living in with my then wife Inga was blown apart with her sudden death.  The question that nagged me over and over was “how can someone just walk out your door in the morning and never come back.”  From that time until June of 2010, I didn’t have a household, a place I called home.  Now I do.  And I am grateful at the center of my being.

That experience made me realize that even the most secure household can have strong winds blow through leaving any survivors without a place to call home.  While I am so thankful for what I now have, I know that the only real household I will ever keep is the one being built by Our Lord for me in Heaven.   I am not setting that one up.  He is.  It is a gift which I have accepted in faith.  That household is far superior to what I have now and what I had back in 2006.  It is a household that I can always call my home.