An Acquired Taste

Participation in old age is an acquired taste for me.  According to Wikipedia “an acquired taste often refers to an appreciation for a food or beverage that is unlikely to be enjoyed by a person who has not had substantial exposure to it, usually because of some unfamiliar aspect of the food or beverage, including a strong or strange odor.”  

When I was still living at home, my mom always seasoned my salads with pepper, vinegar and oil or some other concoction which assaulted my taste buds with a fury.  I pleaded with her to serve my salad plain, but her memory seemed to fail her every time she prepared my salad.  I constantly and strenuously objected to those extra tastes which I thought ruined a salad.  “Why can’t I just eat my salad naturally without those heavy extras,”  I guess my mother’s maternal instincts included knowing what tastes good to everyone.

Years later, however, I was surprised to see myself readily accepting any and all kinds of dressings for my salads, even oily Italian dressings.  I wondered how it could be that now I enjoyed them.  The same was true of other foods I had snubbed when I was younger, like cheeses.   I was now enjoying them.  What happened?

It occurred to me that possibly when I was young, my taste buds were overloaded by those strong flavors causing a gag reaction.   Years later, those same nerve endings on my tongue had been worn down, becoming significantly less sensitive and so the same tastes now were pleasant.  I actually enjoyed them.

I wonder whether the same may be true with getting old.  When I was young I just assumed old people were all naturally ornery and cantankerous.  In fact, I remember being so angry at old folks because they were driving so stinking slow and now I have trouble keeping up with the flow of traffic.

The years have flown by and I too have experienced terrible losses of loved ones, too many visits to the doctor, inflammation, numbness and physical limitations.  I have learned these are some of the seasonings that come with this time in life.

But there are other flavors which are part of old age too.  There are grandchildren’s smiles and delightful hugs.  There are ears eager to hear what it was like when I was growing up.  There are important questions to answer like “what do YOU think I should do, grandpa?”  There are photographs to pull out and recall the many parts of my life.  There’s my journal I can search with keywords to bring back details of a day in my life.  These tastes are gradually overcoming the bitter bites of the older  years.

Looking at old age through the prism of taste and my experiences, I conclude that going through old age is an acquired tasted.  It can be bitter at first, but one can eventually get used to and even enjoy it.

Posted in Acceptance, Aging, Appreciation, Contentment, Food, Grand children, Happiness, Letting Go, Life, Old Age, Peace, Perspective, Reality, relationships, Retirement, Values, Wisdom | Leave a comment

His Worst Fear Realized!

“It was midnight.  The woman closed the curtains and huddled on her bed.  Tim should have been home hours ago, why hadn’t he called.”  This was the opener to Johnny Boyce’s new novel he’d already titled “Shocked Life-No Answers.”   It would be based on the unsolved murder of “Tubby” Tim Redmond, a Ringling Brothers’ clown whose body was found face down in the Mississippi River June 27, 1982.   Boyce, who’d always been fascinated by clowns and circuses, had decided to write about the Redmond case hoping he would generate fresh interest in it.

He had taken careful notes while viewing the police records, interviewing the investigating officers and talking with Tim’s widow.   He’d scribbled an outline which seemed complete, but then misplaced it along with all his notes.  Rather than go back and pester the widow and the investigators, Boyce decided to forge ahead with the story, he had an excellent memory and forgetting the facts of this case would be impossible.

It all started around 2:30 a.m. on the 27th of June when his wife Marge had made a frantic call to the Chicago Police Department reporting Tim’s absence.  The desk sergeant had taken the information, but did nothing with it until Tim’s body was found later that day by a fisherman.  The Medical Examiner said Tim had been dead approximately fifteen hours.

The undertaker took Tim’s body to the ME’s office for the autopsy.   She said the cause of death was Acute Radiation Syndrome.   His body had had a very low white blood cell count, damage to the walls of his intestines and severe neurological damage.   The only way he could have had all these symptoms was if he had been exposed to a large, prolonged dose of radiation.

Everyone, especially the police, wondered how could a Ringling Brothers’ clown been exposed to such a massive dose of radiation. After investigating the death from every possible angle, the police had filed its report in their Cold Cases Drawer.

However, Boyce had recently had a conversation with a man named Dover who gave him some information that could warm the investigation up again.  With that information and his skill in weaving an interesting narrative, he felt confident all he needed to do was put ink to paper.

However, he was missing one detail, something that happened between the time Tim was due home and the time Jane, his wife, called the police.

Now he stared at the typewriter trying to remember what she had said that didn’t make sense at the time.    He paced the floor, made some tea, took a nap.  Nothing.  He walked to the corner store and bought some chewing gum.  Nothing.   He was experiencing something worse than writer’s block.  He had the curse of any old writer who doesn’t make notes or, heaven forbid, loses them.  Boyce was experiencing memory block.

Ha! Now you know what we older writers are up against.

 

Posted in Aging, Conflict, Creativity, Entertainment, Humor, Imagination, Memory, Old Age, Reality, Retirement, The Past, Trials | Leave a comment

A Second Look

While I traveled through

The back pages of my mind

In search of something meaningful

To calm my awareness of failure,

I realized under layers of

Forgotten dreams

That my heart had been disappointed

To the Point of Despair

 

Leaving me empty,

And with a feeling of total loss

For words or ideas, to compensate

For lost time and lost ideals

Sadly broken and torn with grief

I quietly put my mind together

And, walking away slowly,

I tried again once more.

Posted in Acceptance, Adversity, Belief, Choices, Claustrophobia, Courage, Darkness, Depression, Faith, Fear, Feelings, Grief, Healing, Identity, Learning, Letting Go, Life, Memory, Morale, New Covenant, Peace, Perseverance, Persistence, Perspective, Quiet Time, Resolutions | Leave a comment

Imagining the Call of Elisha the Prophet

The First Meeting

It is a scene played out somewhere in this agricultural land. A tanned, muscular young man, is plowing a field, just one of many laborers that day. Suddenly he stops to remove an obstacle. He notices a man walking towards him.

The fierce looking man is wearing a simple skin to cover his loins and around his shoulders is a sheepskin cape. His hair and beard are dark and kinky with more strands of gray than black. His exposed skin is severely weathered. His eyes have a penetrating quality. The young man places his right hand on his sword.

Young Man: “Who are you? What do you want?”

Wild Man: “I am Elijah, the prophet of the Lord. Are you Elisha?

Elisha: “I am”

Elijah: “The Lord calls you to prophesy in his name.”

Elisha: “Me? Are you kidding? I am not a prophet, nor am I the son of a prophet. I am a farmer’s son.”

Elijah does not answer him. Instead he bends down and lifts the cape up from his shoulders and over his head displacing a massive mane of hair. He stands upright, brings the ends together, kisses it, and then swings it around Elisha’s shoulders. The smell of the wild man nauseates him, but he does not back away.

Elisha: “Pray, Father, why have you done this? Why has the Lord sent you to me? Surely, I cannot be the one God has chosen. I must go and talk to my father of this matter. Please come with me to our house and stay so we may talk further.”

Elijah: “Unnecessary. It is the Lord who chose you, not me. But by this mantle I have adopted you as my own. Come with me now and learn how to be listen for the voice of God.”

Elisha: “But let me at least go and kiss my mother and father good-bye.”

Elijah: “Alright, but don’t forget what I just did to you. You are now the prophet of the Lord.”

Elisha takes the long walk back home, tells his parents, and walks obediently with Elijah.

The Farewell

The two men having grown used to one another are walking along one day on the road from Gilgal when Elisha hears disturbing news “your master will be taken from you today.” He shivers. As they walk, they talk:

Elisha: “Father, I hear that you will leave me today. This cannot be true?”

Elijah: “You are ready my son. Now I must make way for you.

A heavy silence descends.

Elijah: “Ask, what is it I can give you before I leave then.”

Elisha: “Father, please let there be a double portion of your spirit that remains with me after you’ve gone.”

Elijah: “You have asked a hard thing, my son. When I leave, if you see me going away from you, then you can know that God has granted your request.

They sit together on a nearby rock, Elijah puts his arm around Elisha’s shoulders. He sees something and rises with wobbly legs while Elisha helps him. It’s a fiery chariot. Elisha helps and then holds his hand, but the chariot takes Elijah from his grasp.

Elisha cries out: “My father. My father.”

A fiery flame breaks off the chariot and lightly wraps itself around Elisha’s shoulders, extinguishes itself and the warmth travels down to his feet. In the chariot racing through the skies, Elijah does not look back, but a feeling of satisfaction comes over him as he rises higher and higher and higher to the God he had served all his life.

Elisha faithfully served as the prophet in Israel for 50 years. His style was different from Elijah. Where Elijah was confrontational, Elisha was more a pastor to the people. Both men, so different served God in their own way.

Posted in Adventures, Bible, Courage, Faith, Faithfulness, Fathers and Sons, God, Heaven, Imagination, Inspiration, Miracles, Passion, Priorities, Prophecy, relationships, Service, Spirituality, Tests, Witnessing, Word of God, Work | Leave a comment

I Am Never Alone

Regardless of how I feel, I am connected.  I am connected visually to those who see me at any given moment in time.  I am connected by line of sight to everything I can see outside my windows.  I am especially drawn to the trees.

I am connected by blood to my mother and father, sisters and brothers.  I also carry the blood of my ancestors, from older days in faraway places.

I am connected by faith to everyone who believes in God whether they use that name or not.  I am connected to all who name the name of Jesus as Savior and Lord.  I am connected through hours of bright and moving worship in my local church through the power of the Spirit of God.

I am connected to all who inhabit the same city, the same state, the same country and the same planet.  I am connected to every citizen of every place I have ever lived.

I am connected by gravity to the earth and at night find my eyes drawn to the skies above.

With all these connections, I cannot believe any feeling that tries to convince me I am all alone.  I am never alone.  Never.

Posted in Acceptance, Balance, Belief, Crucifixion, Culture, Depression, Faith, Feelings, Holidays, Perseverance, Perspective, relationships, Self-Worth, Spirituality, Status, Thankfulness, Unity | Leave a comment

Reflecting On This Union

A writing from an earlier time:

About 200 yards away just across a busy traffic artery stands a flag pole with a giant American flag raised to the top.   The morning blue sky perfectly mats the red, white and blue.  Cars scoot easily by at this time of day.  We enjoy freedom of movement in this country.

The flag’s upper left corner holds a white star for each state of our union against a navy blue background.  Six white stripes horizontally placed evenly between seven red ones fill the rest of it.  The thirteen stripes correspond to the 13 original colonies that began our nation.  I had to look up their meaning, the red recalls the blood of protectors shed to preserve our freedom;  the white purity.  May our motives always be pure as a nation!

The wind blows strongly making the flag wave ever so proudly.  It’s a grand old flag.

If I travel to another land, this flag welcomes me home.

The flag is only material sewed into a pattern.  The sacrifices and founding principles of our country give it meaning.  May our actions as a nation always be guided by liberty and justice for all.

Posted in Loyalty, Patriotism, Perseverance, Politics, Pride, Principles, Priorities, Reconciliation, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Road Less Desired

If I could have before me the path I took at age 40 or an alternative, which would I take? I now have walked the path I’m on for thirty years, so I am somewhat familiar with it. Imagining another feels impossible.

I was about 40 years old when I decided to explore the ministry. Sensing a call, I asked an elderly preacher for advice and he recommended I try seminary for a year. He had said “it can’t hurt you,” so I tried it. During that year I was naively looking for some supernatural sign, which never came. The second year, however, I felt confident I was in the right place. I assumed a parish was where I would eventually end up. I considered chaplaincy, but dismissed it thinking I had enough love in me to care for an entire congregation. Looking back on that thinking I can see now that it was both unrealistic and naive.
I spent almost 20 years doing parish work and retired when I was 62. During those years I found myself many times in strange, uncomfortable and confusing situations (e.g. confrontational board meetings, death vigils, confirmation classes with bored young people). In my eight years of retirement I have concluded that all the hundreds of sermons, home visits, and prayers probably did not make a real difference.

Was following that path a mistake? Would I have been better off if I had pursued the path of writer which is what I do most of the time in retirement? With writing I sense I am using a gift God has given me. Even when exhausted, I still find writing energizing and rewarding. Every word I put on the page is releasing the seemingly endless river of creativity and passion I feel for God and His way of life. I find channeling my imagination in this area makes me feel useful and vital. These are feelings I seldom had in parish ministry.

However, while saying this, I think there is an awareness that at age forty I did not have enough talent as a writer to earn a living from it. So, while the parish ministry was difficult, it probably was the path I needed to take until I was able in my retirement to jump over to that of writer.

The path I took at age forty allows me now to write for personal satisfaction. I hope to be published, but because it is not a financial necessity, I can relax, take my time and work at developing my writing skill to its full potential. I now wonder if the path less desired but more financially rewarding must often be taken so when we are secure, we can then switch over to the path we wanted in the first place. I can’t say for certain what the value is of the parish years so I must just release them into God’s hands using the faith I exercised back when I was forty.

Posted in Acceptance, Accomplishment, Adaptability, Appreciation, Belief, Choices, Church, Commitment, Contentment, Creativity, Disappointment, doubt, Employment, Faith, Feelings, Focus, God, Happiness, Identity, Letting Go, Life, Memory, Mission, Old Age, Passion, Perseverance, Perspective, Priorities, Questioning, Religion, Retirement, Self-Discovery, Self-Worth, Spirituality, Status, Stress, Study, The Past, Trust | 4 Comments

Wondering as I Wander

Whatever Happened to my Paper Route?

Whatever happened to my paper route?  It was my first coming of age experience, so an important building block of my life as it is today.   Like all experiences of that nature, it pulled me out of my small world of innocence and into the big world of responsibility, discipline and ill-mannered people.

The daily route was on the south side of a small rural community in Wisconsin, called Fort Atkinson.  My mother and father had moved there from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.   It was the only place I knew in those early years.  Fort Atkinson was a fun place to grow up.  Growing up, however, is not all fun and play.

At a time too far back in my memory to properly date, I decided I wanted a paper route.  A paper route would provide me with wealth beyond my wildest dreams.  I could then buy whatever I wanted.  I would learn responsibility, although at that point I had no idea what that meant.  It sounded like a good thing.  All these thoughts came to me as I passed the interview and was told to report on a certain day.

Where I was to come in the wee hours of the morning was the basement of my manager’s house.  It was dark, dusty and scary.  The man was tall and had a temper like nothing I had ever seen before.  My papers were waiting for me in a bundle, which I cut then rolled up individually so I could fling them on doorsteps as I rode by on my bike.  I rode my sister’s bike through the morning darkness so each customer could read the news, sports and comics with their breakfast.  I successfully served every household except one.  Those people requested their paper be delivered to the back entrance where their enormous collie was waiting and chased me like I was breakfast.   Their paper was often left somewhere in the front yard.

At the end of the week, I had to visit each customer and collect what was owed.  It should have worked out perfectly because the manager was selling me papers at a discounted price and I was collecting from the customers at full retail price.  At the end of each week I was presented with a bill which I had to pay from the money I had collected.  Even though I was supposed to make money, it never seemed like I did.

I learned many lessons from that paper route: 1) Earning money is more difficult than dreaming of ways to spend it, 2) Being responsible takes effort, it does not come naturally, and 3) You cannot always trust people.

I wonder who took the route after me.  At the time paper routes were only done by boys.  I imagine over the years there were girls who took the route.  I cannot imagine anyone on my original route is still alive.  With the advent of electronic versions, I believe the route may no longer exist.  Anyone living in those houses nowadays wanting a morning paper they can hold in their hand probably has to go to a news stand to fetch it.

Posted in Adventures, Aging, Children, Conflict, Culture, Employment, Love of Money, Memory, Newspaper, Perseverance, Perspective, The Past | 2 Comments

The Power of Words

The Potency of Words

Have you ever contemplated the power of words? Words, ranging from a description of the wildest fantasy to the most complicated fact or idea, create thoughts and pictures in our brains, in ways I do not understand.  I believe because of their power, they should be used carefully.

This belief in the power of words is a major reason why I am a writer.  I enjoy the challenge of finding the right words to express my ideas.  I appreciate the stress of professionals who say good writing contains only words which are necessary.  I strive to use words that present familiar ideas in ways which will catch people’s attention.  This means keeping my thesaurus (a resource which provides alternate words for the same thought) close at hand and using it.  I work with commonly used words so the entirety of my thoughts can reach  the reader’s mind quickly.

Words that describe an object are easily found.  If I want to describe that thing flying above me, I call it an airplane.  If I want to describe the round orange object on someone’s porch, I call it a pumpkin.  If I want to describe the object on which I am typing these words, I call it a keyboard.

However, if what I am trying to describe is not tangible (eg. faith), the task is more difficult.  This is a concept and may involve more time to find the right word or words.  In my faith tradition, the word often substituted for faith is “trust”which suggests an action rather than an idea.

Words can take us to faraway mountain tops to join climbers struggling against a blinding snow storm or back through the mists of time to two raggedy cave dwellers arguing over how a dead wooly mammoth is to be divided. Words carefully chosen allow us to relax in a high alpine meadow away from the cares of our life or have us clinging to a piece of wreckage in freezing cold water after our boat was destroyed by a rogue wave.  Words are amazing transports which carry concepts, images and even emotions from one person to another.

After quite a break from this blog, I am resuming it because words are my passion, my joy and my challenge.  While working on my novel, I never had the chance to see a finished product.  Now I can again.

 

Posted in Adversity, Background, Belief, Commitment, Creativity, Entertainment, eReading, Faith, Feelings, Fiction, Imagination, Passion, Priorities, Quiet Time, Relaxation, The Past, Time, Visual, Writing | Leave a comment

The Proofreader and the Cover Illustrator Contacted Me

It was a good feeling today hearing back from the proofreader who has completed six chapters and wanted feedback on her work so far.  I was very pleased and also noticed a couple of mistakes which were probably mine.  Getting a novel into print is a long, tedious process but as I read what is complete so far, I am amazed.  Where do the images and ideas come from?  Surely, I know.

I also received an agreement from my Cover Illustrator which I am to look over.  He’s obviously a professional who knows what he is doing.  I have seen samples of his work and I am looking forward to seeing the finished picture which will say to the shopper “pick me up and take a look.”

I am honored to be a part of this work which I attribute fully to the Great Storyteller.

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